Murphy's Law:
If anything can go wrong , it will.
Corollaries:
Nothing
is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer that you think.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Seach's First Law of Volcanology:
You will miss
the eruption.
Corollary one:
If two volcanoes are about to erupt, you will go to the wrong one.
Corollary two:
If one volcano is about to erupt you will either get there one day too
late
or leave one day too early.
Corollary three:
The vent will erupt while you are changing films.
Corollary four:
The volcano will erupt while it is covered in clouds.
Corollary five:
You have to sleep sometime.
Seach's Paradox:
A decrease in eruptive
activity increases the risk.
Corollary one:
Beware of a quiet volcano.
Seach's Second Paradox:
Getting to the volcano
is more dangerous than the volcano itself.
Seach's Third Paradox:
The organisation with
the largest budget, will be the last to report the eruption.
Seach's First Law of Achievement:
The number of eruptions
viewed, is inversely proportional to the number of meetings attended.
Seach's Second Law of Achievement:
The
more money you have, the less you achieve.
Seach's Evacuation Dilemma:
You are damned if you
do, and damned if you don't.
Seach's Evacuation Paradox:
People who evacuate miss the most exciting event of their life.
H.L Mencken's Law:
Those
who can - do.
Those who can't - teach.
Fagin's Rule.
Hindsight is an exact
science.
Colvard's Logical Premises:
All probabilities are
50/50. Either the volcano will erupt or it won't.
Seay's Law:
Nothing ever comes out
as planned on an expedition.
Sodd's Second Law:
Sooner
or later , the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.
Seach's comment on Sodd's
Law:
Any volcano warning system must be designed to withstand Sodd's Second
Law.
Rudin's Law
In
crises, most people will choose the worst possible course of action.
Zumurgy's seventh exception
to Murphy's Law:
When it rains, it pours.
Shedenhelm's Law of Backpacking:
All trails have more uphill
sections than they have level or downhill sections.
First Law of travel:
It always takes longer
to get there than to get back.
Finagles First law:
If an experiment works,
something has gone wrong.
Williams and Holland's Law:
If enough data is collected,
anything may be proven by statistical methods.
Hiram's Law:
If you consult enough
experts you can confirm any opinion.
Murphy's Law of Research
Enough
research will tend to support your theory.
Young's Law
All
great discoveries are made by mistake.
Spark's Volcanologist Rules
Strive
to look tremendously important.
Attempt to be seen with important people.
Speak with authority; however only expound the obvious and proven facts.
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that can be used against
you.
Trueman's Law
If you can't convince them, baffle them with
science.
Merkin's Maxim:
When
in doubt, predict the trend will continue.
Mars Rule:
An
expert is anyone from out of town.
Clarke's First Law:
When a distinguished but
elderly scientist states that something is possible,
he is almost certainly right. When he states that
something is impossible,
he is very probably wrong.
Clarke's Second Law:
The only way to discover
the limits of the possible is to go beyond them
into the impossible.
Jones' Law of Museums:
The most interesting specimen
will not be labeled.
Lerman's Corollary:
You are never given enough
time or money to conduct field work.
Murphy's constant:
An object will be damaged
in direct proportion to its value.
Jaffe's Precept:
There are some things
about a volcano which are impossible to know
- but it is impossible to know these things.
The Ultimate Law:
By definition, when you
are investigating the unknown, you do not know
what you will find.
Ken's Law:
A flying particle will
always seek the nearest eye.
Biondi's Law:
If your project doesn't
work, look for the part you didn't think was important.
Berra's First Law:
You can observe a lot
just by watching.
Silberman's Paradox:
If Murphy's Law can go
wrong it will.
